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I deleted the screencap of the text that was sent to me today, not at the risk of offending people, but because she doesn’t deserve my attention, in any form.

Someone on facebook made a comment that everyone deserves joy or no one does. I don’t think that’s true. Aside from the fact that absolute statements are rarely ever true, my point of contention is some people believe they deserve joy at the expense of other people, and that’s bullshit.

im-a-doppelbanger asked
You should write your own version of the bible, I'd definitely buy it.

Now here is a good idea.

This is the one where @thekphillips wins the Internet.

This is the one where @thekphillips wins the Internet.

"And on the third day, He rose and rode His mastodon into Nazareth and everyone was like ‘Bloody hell, is that what’s his name?’
And He said, ‘That’s right. I’ve come back!’
And the people were like ‘Fuck off, you’re dead!’
And so He rode the mastodon into the desert, swearing revenge on those who forsake Him, accompanied only by Karl, who was a bit dim and also a zombie.”

"And on the third day, He rose and rode His mastodon into Nazareth and everyone was like ‘Bloody hell, is that what’s his name?’
And He said, ‘That’s right. I’ve come back!’
And the people were like ‘Fuck off, you’re dead!’
And so He rode the mastodon into the desert, swearing revenge on those who forsake Him, accompanied only by Karl, who was a bit dim and also a zombie.”

Single Life

It’s 2am. I’m cooking pizza rolls and starting Friday Night Lights for the 5th time. Aside from the shaky start to the 2nd season, that show is perfect to me. It feels like home, not that my home or life was ever like that.

Also, I bought 3 flavors of Blue Bell and I don’t have to share with anyone.

Life is about trade offs. I think I came out ahead this time.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Quick everyone post their “WTF weather?” screen caps.

Quick everyone post their “WTF weather?” screen caps.

There’s nothin in the world
that you can do
you gotta come on up to the house
and you been whipped by the forces
that are inside you
come on up to the house
well you’re high on top
of your mountain of woe
come on up to the house
well you know you should surrender
but you can’t let go
you gotta come on up to the house

(Source: Spotify)

Caller are you there?

I’ve been really popular in the Russian Federation lately. Do I know anyone in Russia?

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received about dating since my last relationship ended was from my ex-wife. You have to decide what it is you will not accept from another person and stick with that.

It’s good advice but I really hadn’t thought about it until tonight.

1. I’m not going to be someone’s free meal. I don’t mind taking someone out, but I’ve spent too long paying for the privilege of spending time with people.

2. I can’t share. I don’t want to be one of many options. I’ve been cheated on too much to deal with it. Even in a casual relationship. If I’m not enough, that’s fine. I’ll remove myself from the equation.

3. I don’t need to constantly hear how hot everyone else is and how much you would like to fuck them. If a dude did that, you would call him an asshole.

4. You have to be affectionate. I need to touch and be touched. I can’t be with someone who makes me feel hesitant to touch them.

5. You have to initiate intimacy sometimes. I always seem to get with people who won’t initiate sex, so it’s left up to me and then I stop trying because after so many rejections, it’s just a kick in the self-esteem.

I’m sure there are more things but it’s after 3am and I’ve had booze and stuff. I’m going to sleep.